Despite having safe, healthy childhoods, the daughters all rebel to some extent against the teachings of their mothers—where do they disagree, and how do male characters fit into these disagreements? Eventually, what do mothers learn from daughters and vice-versa?

Amy Tan's The Joy Luck Club tells the story of four sets of mothers and daughters who come into conflict that highlights the natural stress points in mother/daughter relationships. The mothers in the novel each grew up in China and left for America because of some problem that they faced. The daughters grew up in the United States and had fundamentally different upbringings than their mothers. The resulting tension is outlined in the book as one of the daughters struggles to understand her mother after her untimely death.
Suyuan Woo, who founded the Joy Luck Club, disagrees with her daughter, June (Jing-mei) Woo throughout June's life. June hated the expectations her mother had and chose to fall short, on purpose. She always felt that she lived in Suyuan's shadow and decided that if she didn't try, she could not fail. When Suyuan passes away unexpectedly, June and her father, Canning Woo, visit China where June discovers that her mother had twin girls in China during World War II and had to leave them behind. June fulfills her mother's last wish to meet the twins and tell them about Suyuan. In traveling to China, hearing her father talk about his wife, and meeting her long-lost sisters, June becomes connected to the part of her that is Chinese and the elements of her that make her like Suyuan. She is determined, holds others to high standards, and loving toward her family.
An-mei Hsu has seven children including her daughter, Rose Hsu Jordan. Rose's husband, Ted, leaves her after having an affair and Rose is forced to learn how to move on and forward without him. Both Rose and An-mei appear meek, and An-mei worries that Rose doesn't know about the strength that lives within her. An-mei is the most focused on the mother/daughter bond out of all of the pairs in the book. She saw her mother give up a chunk of her flesh in a last-ditch attempt to save her grandmother's life. Rose worries that An-mei will try to push her into fighting for her marriage, and she avoids discussing it with her mother. When Rose tells Ted that she wants to keep the house after the divorce, she begins to see that her mother is on her side, wanting to help Rose flourish, rather than push her to fail.
Waverly Jong's mother, Lindo Jong, can be overbearing, and tensions that stem from Waverly's childhood make it difficult for the women to communicate. For years Waverly builds up her interpretation of her mother as too Chinese and embarrassing, leading to a rift between them. Waverly is so keen on showing her mother she's not in charge of her, that she goes too far in the other direction, failing to treat Lindo with respect. When Waverly is planning to get married to Rich, she has a hard time telling Lindo about her plans. She doesn't want to hear if Lindo disapproves of Rich but desperately wants her to like him. After finally confronting Lindo, both women realize that they are not only Chinese or American, they are both. In finally seeing their similarities, they are better poised to accept their differences.
Ying-ying St. Clair suffers from depression which deeply affects her relationship with her daughter, Lena St. Clair. Lena is getting a divorce and tries to hide it from her mother, who she fears will be ashamed and spiral further into her depression. Instead, Ying-ying tries to teach her daughter to connect with the "tiger side" of being Chinese, a feature which Ying-ying herself has lost. While Lena has spent much of her life translating for her parents (her father speaks no Chinese and her mother little English), when it comes to her divorce, Lena depends on Ying-ying to translate what's going on inside her mind to her husband, Harold.
Ultimately, each mother/daughter relationship is plagued by misunderstandings and a failure to communicate. The mothers and daughters love one another and are more similar than they initially realize. As they discover more about one another, they can see that their differences and strife were not rooted in being Chinese or American, but rather in not speaking their minds and asking for help.