In The Namesake, what were the generational differences that Gogol faced with his birthday party, food, and name?

In The Namesake, Gogol's perspective about his name, birthday party, and Bengali food differs from his parents. The generational divide is clear, and it contributes much to Gogol's distress.
In chapter 4, Gogol has two birthday parties for his fourteenth birthday. His mother, Ashima, cooks a veritable feast for the Bengali celebration. Meanwhile, the American-style birthday party is a tamer affair. Ashima and Ashoke (Gogol's parents) serve commercial pizza, store-bought frosted cake, ice-cream, and hot dogs to Gogol's classmates.
Although Gogol prefers American cuisine, he holds off on the food. It is the Bengali-style birthday party that most distresses him. The text tells us that close to 40 guests come from 3 different states. The families come with young children, and Gogol notes disdainfully that Bengalis do not "believe in babysitters."
After the Bengali-style birthday party (complete with Bengali food), Gogol does not object when most of his presents are set aside for his cousins. The presents include calculators, dictionaries, and "ugly sweaters." Later, Gogol is presented The Short Stories of Nikolai Gogol by his father. However, Gogol sees little value in Ashoke's present. He would have much preferred The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or even a replacement copy of The Hobbit.
The generational divide is clear. Gogol does not understand his parents any more than they understand him. His Bengali culture expects him to focus primarily on academic performance and material success. Gogol faces a lot of parental pressure: his father wants him to study engineering at MIT. However, deep inside, Gogol is just a typical male American teenager. He is curious about girls and has experimented with smoking pot.
Because of cultural constraints and habits, Ashoke does not share his real reason for giving Gogol the book. He does not want to ruin Gogol's birthday with a discussion about death: to Bengalis, birthdays are about life. Gogol does not comprehend the significance of his father's gift. Additionally, Ashoke also notices that Gogol has neglected the cassette of classical Indian music that he gave him a while ago.
In regards to language, Gogol's parents speak to him in Bengali. For his part, Gogol much prefers to communicate in English.
In truth, Gogol is ambivalent about the birthday parties and food because he feels that he is not fully American or Indian. Although his mother holds an American-style birthday party to please him, Gogol knows that it is difficult for her to comprehend his preoccupation with a foreign way of life. Later, during his family's eight-month stay in Calcutta, Gogol (and his sister, Sonia) end up craving hamburgers, pepperoni pizza, and cold glasses of milk.
Gogol's name means very little to him: it is neither American nor Indian. Instead, its obviously Russian flavor causes him discomfort when others question its origin.
Gogol faces the challenge of navigating the differing generational perspectives about his name, birthday parties, and Bengali (versus American) food.