Tuesday, September 25, 2012

How has Esperanza’s awareness of her own sexuality evolved from "Hips" to this story? How have her imagination and her desires moved away from her negative sexual experience in "My First Job"?

The question above is a little vague, as it says "from 'Hips' to this story" without specifying to what story the asker is alluding, but analyzing Esperanza's views of her sexuality as the story progresses through the book is conceivable. For example, in the vignette entitled "Hips," Esperanza talks about waking up and noticing that she has hips. She compares her hips to the blooming of roses overnight. The comparison seems fanciful in nature because not only is it a new experience that she has probably been waiting for, but it also represents her maturation into womanhood—and womanhood can also imply sexuality. However, Esperanza's young mind thinks of hips as being useful for balancing babies. Then, she considers the science behind the evolution of hips and their structure. Notice, though, that her young mind does not really think about hips along the lines of sexuality. There is a hint of that as she considers the following:

"You gotta be able to know what to do with hips when you get them. I say making it up as I go. You gotta know how to walk with hips, practice you know—like if half of you wanted to go one way and the other half the other" (50).

Notice what she does not say. For instance, she does not say that the hips are there to entice boys as she walks or to get a boyfriend. Her mind is not on sensuality; rather, she is analyzing how a woman physically uses her hips to walk, not to entice.
Unfortunately, the next vignette is upsetting in nature. "The First Job" discusses the man at work who asks for a birthday kiss. Esperanza thinks she is going in for an innocent kiss on the cheek, but she is surprised when he turns his head and makes a fool of her by kissing her on the mouth. This is one of many times she sees how men treat women without caring about the woman's feelings. Ultimately, Esperanza decides that she does not necessarily want to use her hips to bear children as many women around her do. Esperanza dreams of having a house of her own without the help or existence of a man in her life. In "A House of My Own," Esperanza explains her feelings perfectly:

"Not a flat. Not an apartment in back. Not a man's house. Not a daddy's. A house all my own. . . . My two shoes waiting beside the bed. Nobody to shake a stick at. Nobody's garbage to pick up after. Only a house quiet as snow, a space for myself to go, clean as paper before the poem" (108).

This vignette is not saying that Esperanza will never have sex, get married, or have children one day. It is just proof that Esperanza is not going to allow her developing sexuality to influence her dream to own her own piece of the world first.

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